The Marathon, the fear of it, the reality of it, the spirit of it …

When I was selected as one of the six finalists in the Cadence Kona Challenge I know the very first thought that entered my head was “oh shit” immediately followed by “I can’t run a marathon.” These were not meek little thoughts tucked away in the recesses of my mind, no, these were HUGE big bright neon light danger signals flashing uncontrollably and blasting away any sense of happiness or euphoria at having been selected from among all the other competitors. It left little room for the realization that I was gonna get a hell of a lot of free gear and some pretty nice swag. Lost in the buzzing of the blazing red warning signs was the idea that a whole lot of professional coaching and assistance from Cadence was going to help get me to where I need to be. No, none of that mattered; the only thought I had was “I can’t run a marathon.” Ok there were a few other expletives along with similar anti-marathon ramblings like, “I’m not a ‘runner’” and “my body isn’t built for running” and “in my lifetime I don’t think I can run a marathon, let alone in 7 or 8 months” quickly followed by the ridiculous idea that now I’m supposed to do this AFTER exerting myself in other disciplines for an ungodly number of hours.

Up until October 21, 2007 I had made the most compelling argument and had thoroughly convinced myself that 26.2 was never, ever going to be in my future. Even despite the fact that I was scheduled to run my first ever half marathon a week later – but 13.1 was a world away from 26.2 and considering where I was coming from, I knew I was going to be pretty damn satisfied if I could run a half. To say I was afraid of the marathon is putting it mildly, I was scared to death of the mere prospect of it, and now here I was being congratulated and told I was going to do an Ironman. All I could do was nod and try to smile as the pounding of my heart kept rhythm with the flashing lights and blinking billboard on my forehead telling everyone present “you picked the wrong person, because, don’t you know? Can’t you tell? I CAN’T RUN A MARATHON.”

Hmmm, so I guess things change, and thankfully, we are not bound by our thoughts or abilities or our fears or the limits we place on our lives. This isn’t exactly my version of ‘the little engine that could’ and as I write this my longest run is still 13.1 miles. But that’s going to change soon, and for the first time I welcome the prospect of running further and running longer. Something has happened to me this winter – it might’ve been on the chilly Sunday mornings on the bike path, or maybe it was while I was sweating away on the treadmill in my crowded club in January. I’m not really sure when or how it happened and I don’t really care, but all I know is, at this moment, I believe that someday I will be capable of running 26.2 miles.

Ok, maybe I’ve got a lot of ‘qualifiers’ in that statement, but the important thing is that I really do believe it, and I’m really not afraid, uh, ok, not THAT afraid of it anymore… and hopefully that “someday” I refer to will be May 4th 2008, since that’s when I’m scheduled to run the Cincinnati Flying Pig Marathon (I think it’s apropos since the name originated from someone professing that they ‘would run a marathon when pigs fly’ – look! Up in the sky! It’s a BIRD! It’s a PLANE! It’s a pig? ;-)

So that’s it – I’ll write about the agony and ecstasy of my long runs as appropriate but do want to put in a final plug for the movie documentary “The Spirit of the Marathon.” There’s another showing in February and I can’t recommend it enough – especially for someone like me, who never thought this was possible. And it doesn’t hurt to drag along all of your training partners! Watching it with my gym crew – my friends who show up to spin with me for an unreasonable length of time on Saturday mornings and run and ride with me throughout the year – was the gift I gave myself. I was inspired and motivated not only by the movie, but by the people sitting next to me too….